1st Steps In The Hunt: Daily News For Job Hunters and Recruiters

interbiznet.com

S P O N S O R S

RECRUITERS

EXECUTIVE
SEARCH FIRMS

1st Steps In The Hunt: A Free Online Daily for Online Job Hunters

| ERN | Bugler | The Blogs | Advertise with Us | Trends |

Office Romance

January 31, 2003

Once you get a Job, there are a number of ways to screw it up. While it is possible to get laid off because you just can't do the work at hand (or don't pick it up quickly enough), this is not the reason Employees tend to get canned.

Most firings occur because of personality conflicts. Sometimes it is between the Boss and the soon to be axed Employee, and other times it is an inability for new workers to get along with entrenched members at the Company. If office politics are difficult to negotiate, try maneuvering around politics of the heart.

Despite your best intentions to not get involved romantically with a coworker, lust often gets the better of us. And everyone knows someone who met their 'true love' (or 'good enough mate') in the workplace - we do spend a huge amount of our waking life at our Jobs. Humans have enough trouble finding an interesting partner without setting fifty odd hours a week off limits right from the get-go. And for many of us, our work life is our social life.

Employee Handbooks are generally pretty clear about interoffice dating - do it and suffer the consequences. While the payoff looks promising (satisfying your lust up to landing Mr/Ms Right), the potential downside is huge. If your intended is a subordinate, you run the risk of giving the appearance of favoritism to them in a whole range of activities, from pay raises to career advancement. Even if you are completely impartial, morale is likely to suffer among coworkers because they "just know" sex is affecting your decisions.

Employers really hate office romances from a legal standpoint. Sexual discrimination is an easy charge to bring and difficult and time consuming to disprove. Even if the targeted Employee is shown to have done nothing wrong, it may take years to get to this common understanding of the events in question. By then, the damage has already been done, both to the Company and the careers of the people involved.

So, what do you do?

Discretion is the better part of valor, and the war of the sexes is no exception. People are going to flirt and behave basically in whatever manner they've grown accustomed to, despite warnings, threats, and dire consequences. Avoid unprofessional, sexually explicit email contact with a coworking paramour. Try to separate your lives into what happens in the office as distinct from what happens outside the cubicle.

And consider your exit strategy - most office relationships are short-lived. Are you on friendly terms with your previous sexual partners? If not, what would it be like to work for (or with) one of Them? Your answer to this last question may be the best determining factor in deciding whether to make the leap, or to stay put.

- Carrie Baggs