Oh, how we love it. We zoom around the internet faster than speeding bullets. We download files and software upgrades in the blink of an eye. We are able to leap across state lines and datelines in a single bound. In our line of work, DSL is not a toy but an indispensable tool. It enables us to conduct our research and site evaluations in a timely manner. It allows us to take the time to tackle the other pressing issues that lurk around our office.

When we have to use a dial-up, it's like Kryptonite around our neck.

In the last week-and-a-half, crime has run rampant at the Daily Planet as Superman is nowhere to be found and Clark Kent shuffles into the office late, hung-over, and less than enthusiastic about the day's work. Due to a screw-up of super-heroic proportions, and through no fault of our own, our DSL has ceased to be. Who's to blame? Paying homage to the 1967 James Coburn film, The President's Analyst, we would blame TPC (for those unfamiliar with that late 60's gem, The Phone Company). In our case, that would be Pacific Bell.

As we struggle to restore our superhuman powers, we cannot but be amazed at the incredible efforts (or lack thereof) being made by this venerable monopoly to thwart our every effort to right the wrongs. With each department we talk to, it is as if for the first time. One department has no idea what the other department has or hasn't done, and vice versa. The number of hours that have been spent on hold. The number of "customer representatives" to whom we have voiced our concerns. From a purely mathematical sense, the numbers are staggering. Wasted man-hours. Loss of productivity. Speaking in greenbacks, our losses were in the thousands by the middle of last week.

Fighting this Goliath, our valiant David has been keeping a score card. Our whiteboard is embellished with an ever growing list of names and phone numbers as we continually move to the "next level" of our situation. We have become intimately familiar with the core of the Pacific Bell DSL "customer service" crew. On the list, most of the names are amended with such choice adjectives as moron, idiot, and jerk. David frequently finds himself having to explain to a mini-Goliath how to do some basic aspect of their job. Not in a snide way; they do not know how to perform basic customer service tasks. So-called supervisors tend to fare much worse. Managerial duties seem to be limited to organizing coffee breaks. On rare occasion, an intelligent individual (all too eager to discuss the faults of their particular department) has managed to push our case slightly closer to resolution.

Compensation for all our losses? We have been offered $20 and a couple weeks of free DSL by PacBell. In reality, it took heated negotiations to be offered anything beyond one week of free service. Only in the last few days, with the introduction of the PUC into the picture, have we been able to dream of the actual restoration of our DSL service. We look forward to lodging a formal complaint against Pacific Bell through the PUC, even though there is apparently quite a line. The fines can be quite substantial.

What other recourse do we have? None, really. Any company that offers DSL in our geographic location does so through PacBell. As such, we are still beholden to the blind idiot god that is Pacific Bell, even if we are paying some other company for the services.

How is this relevant to the world of Online Recruiting? That should be obvious: Customer Service. Most of the major players in the field are not known for quality customer support. Unlike The Phone Company, those who wish to prosper and grow in this industry cannot allow to be indifferent or neglectful of their clients. Customer satisfaction must become an integral aspect in the structure of successful companies. Those that have chosen to sacrifice customer service for volume will begin to feel the pinch. Soon, our researchers' whiteboards may be highlighting the idiots, morons, and jerks in the Online Recruiting sphere.

That is if we can resolve this current Kryptonite dilemma.

- Ingmars Lindbergs

So, six years into the process, it's time for the aging, conservative players to start nosing around the marketplace. And, they are coming on like a herd of elephants with buzzwords swinging from their trunks.

SAP, the lumbering giant of enterprise software fame, has joined the fray with the introduction of Vivant's contractor exchange to mySAP.com. In a breathy, hype laden announcement, the SAP PR machine kicked into high gear for this non-announcement. After carefully reviewing the details of the arrangement, we've arrived at a profound conclusion.

BFD.

The press release announcing this non-event was titled "SAP and Vivant! Usher Talent Through mySAP.com for New Staffing B2B Suite: Vivant! to bring staffing solutions to mySAP.com Marketplace" A slow wade through the buzzword jungle suggests that SAP has incorporated Vivant into their website. As we said,

BFD.

With no performance guarantees above those provided by Vivant, we wonder just how hard it will be to have users click on vivant.com instead of mySAP.com. These sorts of lame, trophy alliances, disguised as business innovations are the kind of awkward first steps that giants make when entering a market that they do not understand. Expect a thunderstorm of them over the next year as the old players start to understand that the web is an important part of doing business.

Oh, by the way. Vivant is an alliance of second tier staffing companies that share the opportunity to fill openings. According to their hype, joining Vivant entitles the new member to receive "unsolicited staffing opportunities from a host of companies". Now, there's a concept.

- John Sumser © TwoColorHat. All Rights Reserved.